Thursday, March 30, 2006

Tis me again

I have been reading blogs all evening .......and Ive read some good a gal kept all thru her was really interesting! I think this is a cool of my friends says mine is like the herald star ( our newspaper) But I enjoy it and thats what counts....

I did tell you I quit smoking a month ago didnt I? I really wanted a cigarette bad today....but I didnt give in. I have been eating these little hershey kissables by the ton....I love to eat the crunchy off of them.... I was telling TC ( my bf) about them yesterday and I said..." I worry about eating so many of them...he said...why b/c of crunching them and hurting your teeth????? I I worry about my expanding) we had a pretty good laugh out of that. You would think with all the money the tobacco company has they could come up with a cigarette that wasnt harmful. When I see someone with a cigarette now I just stare ( and sometimes slobber) lol. I want one!

We had a beautiful day today!!! the sun was shining.... everyone was out walking...Ive gotta get into a routine of walking at the track every night....I keep saying as soon as the weather gets warm....I have been saying that for 3 years.....when the weather gets warm I say....Oops..too hot to walk now. I have to do it this year!!! Because of not smoking. Ill get bigger than a jersey cow.

My X was here today....he stops in usually once a week. Sometimes he drives me crazy. he smokes 1 cigarette after the other and now he cant smoke in he goes out on the deck. Then he gets in my refrigerator looking for leftovers to take home with him... Sometimes instead of him being an x husband I feel like he is one of the kids. When he had the stroke last summer I was really worried about him...and I let him stay here for 6 months as long as he didnt drink. And he had a healthy 6 months here.....he ate well.....he was around the kids....he and I spent a lot of time talking . It wasnt like we will ever get back together but it was like having a good friend that you have had practically all your life. And I wanted him to get better. And then when I found out he was drinking behind my back....I knew I couldnt help him if he wouldnt help himself. And I wasnt mad or hurt or anything....he wasnt letting me down.....he let himself down. I never want to hurt him, I always try to be kind...and I would love to see him get his act together and be happy. But we have been fighting that monkey on his back for way too many years. I give up. And he gives up and gives into it. He is supposed to be getting cat scans and tests and he just canceled all the appointments....said he didnt want to know...hed take his sad.

Well, hoping for another nice day tomorrow! Catch ya later!


Joe & Karen said...

Catch, What an amazing woman you are. I don't know if I could have the outlook on an x that you. Hopefuly one day he will wake up. At least you know it is not a weight you have to carry, and are there when he is ready. Today is beautiful. Perhaps between the distance we can both wake up in the morning, think of eachother and get out for a walk. Huge Congratulations on quiting smoking, I've been slobbering over a smoke to lately! Keep up the great work

Overwhelmed! said...

Good for you for trying to quit smoking! I've neer been a smoker, but I have family members that are and I'm told it's extremely difficult to quit!

I'm impressed with the insightful outlook you have on your ex. Good for you!