Saturday, December 02, 2006

Life with Mama



Thank you for your get well wishes for my Mother. She is feeling better. The bouts of pain are coming fewer and far between now. She has a neuritis (sp) that attacks a nerve in her head and it is a bugger. She has had it for years and it comes and goes. It may ge gone for 3 or so years, and then all of a sudden its back with a vengence. It usually last for 4 or 5 days. All you can do for it is take something for the pain until its gone.

My Mother gets confused very easily, and when you throw a painkiller in, she is really confused. She kept asking me where our big dog was. I told her we dont have a big dog. She was just talking so off the wall.

She keeps our house locked up like Ft Knox. (At all times) She has the deadbolt on and the storm door locked...you would think we lived in the middle of New York City. If I walk to the store, which is just up the street, she has me locked out when I get back.

She is always cold, and we have a million of those little wraps, which she rarely uses. She will put on a short sleeve t shirt and slacks and then complain about being cold. When she thinks Im not paying any attention she jacks the thermostat up to 75 degrees!!! When I notice how hot it is in here, and look at the thermostat, she says she never touched it!! lol

If I am in my bedroom with the door shut, she comes bursting in with no thoughts of knocking on my bedroom door. So that pretty much takes care of my wild fling with the Indian Chief! Or anyone for that matter!

When the phone rings she wants to know who I am talking to. Then she wants to know what they wanted...lol. She hides everything in her room. Then she doesnt remember where it is. I cant tell you how many things we have lost simply because she has hid them in her room.

If the grandchildren are here and misbehaving a little she will look at them, then tell me " she would beat their ass if they acted like that". My Mother loved everyone....was the kindest person you could meet in her day. This person is not my Mother, she just looks like my Mother. Regardless of her illness, her and I still have a lot of laughs and she always appreciates the good dinners we have. She will say to me.." You are the best cook". Usually I set us both a tray up in the livingroom and we watch tv and eat our meal.

If I am getting a shower and the phone rings for me, she will bring it into the shower for me, instead of just taking a message. And forget locking the bathroom door...then she wants to know why its locked! So there I am, water running, maybe my head is soaped up with shampoo and I cant see, but she hands me the phone.

I would say I handle her illness very well. Probably the fact that I have worked with a lot of patients that have alzheimers has helped me prepare for this. Once in a while I need to go out with a friend or two and just relax and get away from it all, but usually I take it all in stride. I never get angry with her. Its like I am the Mother and she is the child now. And when the situation was reversed and she was the Mother, she was the best!!! She was such a wonderful Mother to my brothers and I. I guess it has come full circle and I am trying to be a wonderful Mother to her.

21 comments:

LauraJ said...

Your cheerfulness through adversity inspires ME to be a better mother. Life may not have given us all roses but we cherish the ones that smell the strongest, our loved ones. ----{-@
My friend has worked in a nursing home and she remembers the alzhiemer patients screaming for thier babies. Their babies were dolls. I suggest you get a doll and put it in your closet just in case someday she asks for her baby. Oh and put a tracking device on it so it's not lost. Heaven forbid mama lose her baby!

EZ said...

hey catch-it is sad to see our parents fail-you are the best-but look who raised ya!!
take care

Lolly said...

Look at those beautiful Xmas ornaments! Your house sounds like a place I would love to visit. But mine will never be that hectic or full of people. Love your blog!

Remiman said...

Catch,
It is a bitter sweet time for sure. Your patience is a gift. A gift your mother gave you when you were growing up. Like a savings account, and now she's getting the dividend. As grandpa Walton would say "you've got a giving heart."
rel

Nea said...

Ah Catch, you make me laugh, smile, cry.......it is so true, when we become old we need someone to love and take care of us, as if we are the kids. I hope and pray that I do not have demished capacities when I get old, well older, and if I do I hope someone takes care of me with the love and concern that you take care of your Mother.

I know all of what you are saying.....and I can well believe you do need a day or two of time to yourself. It must get really hard at times. Because just like having a young child around it is constant care and work.

Happy Holidays Catch......love the new look.....

Kat said...

You're amazing. It's so hard to share a home in the first place, and two women usually find it even harder. How lucky your mother is to have such a great daughter.

Bluepaintred said...

you are a shining star catch. You turned into teh person we all want our children to become. I am sure there are some stressfull times but behind all of that the love you have , the paitence, its amazing to see. the old joke goes "you better be nice to me, one day I will choose your nursing home" obviously your mom showered you with love because You chose Your heart ash her nursing home

XOXOX

Chana said...

It seems to be that she couldn't have a better daughter. Your kindness and tenderness towards her and obvious. If she only could see clearly she be overwhelmed with emotion in knowing how loved she is. I admire how you are with her. Too often the ill and old are thrown away or set aside. It is not my way or my culture's way. Yet i know it's no piece of cake sometimes. So, thank you for being her daughter and for being proud of it and for loving her....The right Indian Chief will love her and accept her like you and he won't mind a little interruption here and there, lol..

Mr. Fabulous said...

It is always difficult when the traditional roles are reversed. I think it is awesome how you take such good care of your mom!

Christine said...

It is truly heartwarming to know that you and your mother share such a loving and caring mother/daughter relationship! Your Mom not only gave you wonderful memories to hold onto, but she raised you to have a beautiful soul! I'm sure she's proud of you and the amazing way you take care of her!

Tina Dray said...

So sorry to read your mums been ill. glad she's on the mend. send her my get well wishes!

bazza27 said...

I don't know how long you've had wifey in your links as "Bazza's better half", I've only just noticed it. You are of course correct.

Mimi said...

It is so sad to see our parents get old. You are an amazing person and look at this with such a good attitude. I saw a Hallmark Christmas ornamnet the other day for caregivers. It said "angel on earth" and I thought of you.

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Michelle said...

Thanks for a touching post on your mom and giving us a glimpse into your lives! Sounds like she has raised a wonderful daughter...not many people would be patient and understanding and take all those things in stride. Sounds like your relationship is a great one and has come full circle - full of love for each other!

Miss 1999 said...

*Sending you big hugs* I can only imagine how hard it must be- but you're such a wonderful person, so loving and supportive. Your mother is truly blessed to have such a wonderful daughter *hugs*

Dan said...

Catch, your mom is in my thoughts. You're a real sweetheart for handling her illness so well. My dad is very confused lately. He's recovering from triple bypass. He was unconscious for two weeks and the anasthesia did a job on him. We're hoping he can get his faculties back but every other sentence out of his mouth is total gibberish. It's taxing to all of us.

Hang in there!

Lori said...

You are truely an amazing wonderful woman Catch, you and your mom will be in my prayers tonight.
{{{hugs}}}

Phats said...

Hey Catch!
Hope your mom keeps on the good path. You are awesome for taking such great care of her

NMOTB said...

Aw Catch, I am sorry to hear about your mum - hope she is doing much better today. Sorry that I hve been so scarce but I have had a lot to do and I could not get to all my blog's to read!!!!

Catch said...

Thank all of you for the good wishes for my Mother. I do appreciate them so much.....huggs!