Ooooooh...I can't wait to see how the end of the turkey horror movie turns out! Will he be moist or dry? Will he accidentally be burned? I'll keep watching ;-)
Well I have missed a bit Those toys were something else and I enjoyed all your answers to the Christmas questions. But the two catoons for today ahve to top them all.
Revenge of the Turkeys!Great title!! Where do you find this stuff!#2 ROTFL! I don't think I could look at and stuff my turkeys the same way again!! Too cute Catch@
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
"Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
23 comments:
LMAO catch you are a scream!
you've had a make over again very sexy!
Funny! Glad to see you're place is repaired...yesterday I had to scroll to the bottom to find your post! Been "fixing" things yourself? :>)
The bottom picture just made me shake my head and say oh goodness! :)
Yum Yum-- i luv Thanksgiving dinner!
Off of the Diet Day! Oh, and Catch-- have a fantastic Thanksgiving!!!
' ]
Those are hilarious! You are a sick, woman, you know that, right?
Oh my gosh!
Luv the 2nd one!
thanks for the giggle!
That cartoon where the chickens are watching the other chicken roast -- oh, that's kinda sad. I need to go vegetarian.
Teeeheheheheheheheh! I like that. Especially the second one.
haha. very cute. both. love them,
What a great laugh....
Ooooooh...I can't wait to see how the end of the turkey horror movie turns out!
Will he be moist or dry?
Will he accidentally be burned?
I'll keep watching
;-)
Are these based on true stories? :)
Well I have missed a bit Those toys were something else and I enjoyed all your answers to the Christmas questions. But the two catoons for today ahve to top them all.
haha I I hadnt seen the horror sotry one before, thats funny!
Revenge of the Turkeys!Great title!!
Where do you find this stuff!#2 ROTFL! I don't think I could look at and stuff my turkeys the same way again!! Too cute Catch@
Phunny, Damn Phunny.
As a vegetarian, I have to say that I LOVE this cartoon. Go turkeys! :)
You always crack me up.....
Hi catch, how's it going?
Got a daft joke for ya...
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
"Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
Well, with mere moments to spend on the bloggin' machine, I ended up doin' the smartest thing ever.
I came here.
And laughed my ass clean off!
No, really. It's on the floor behind m'chair, right now!
The venging turkeys were funny, but, I thought the "funeral director" punchline sounded perfect!
HA!
And, is the really Rubik's pube?
what'd they use for the roasting pan? the stock trough?
Girl,
I don't know where you get these things from, but they're a scream!
*hugs*
Post a Comment