Thursday, April 27, 2006
~ What is the secret? ~
I would like to know what is the secret to a happy marriage? I really would like to know ~ because even though I was married for better than 20 years ~ I never figured it out. There are a lot of people out there who are married who dont know the secret. They are just like I was...coasting along trying not to rock the boat.
And you can tell the ones who know the secret ~ you can tell by the way they communicate with each other. I wonder if they know how lucky they are?
I would think you need several things to have a successful marriage....( 1) being respect for each other( 2.) of course you love each other ( 3.) trust in each other (4.) would be communication. And I ask myself "why did I miss the boat on this?" well......it takes two....one person can not make a good marriage alone. My X and I were never friends....he had his friends and I had mine. He was not really an affectionate person, he is more so now when its too late. And it wasnt entirely his fault ~ Im sure I wasnt the perfect wife. I got tired of putting up with a drunk. But I did try...for a lot of years...and then I decided it would be better to live alone than be miserable.
And when he was sick last summer...I let him come here and live to recuperate. He had a slight stroke and was very depressed and had to get off the booze....he did it for 6 months. And then he went back to it....he has been more faithful to a bottle than he ever was to me. I didnt do it because I still loved him ~ I did it because he is my kids father and I wanted to see him be happy for once in his life if he could be. And for that 6 months we probably did more talking than we ever did . And when he started drinking again he knew he had to leave.~ and I knew that I did all I could to help him. I guess thats the caregiver in me.
So for all of you who have a mate and a friend...be thankful! I am very content in my life now....its peaceful and I am happy with my friends and family. I have no interest in trying again. Been there, done that. Im thankful for what I have now. Its the only way I know.
Lets Talk.. Catch at 12:16 AM