Thursday, March 08, 2007

TIME FOR A FUNNY!

The Rectum Stretcher ...

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday (10 miles over the speed limit), A woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?" To which she replied, "I'm late for work." "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded. The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher? And just what does a Rectum Stretcher do?" "Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I work from side to side until I can get both hands> in, and then I slowly but surely stretch, until it's> about 6 feet wide." "And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot ass hole?" he asked. "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."

Traffic Ticket $95.00
Court Costs $45.00
Look on Cop's Face ..PRICELESS

17 comments:

Shelli said...

ROFLMAO! I love it.

Ol' Lady said...

too funny...

EZ said...

hahaha good one!!

Jill said...

ROFL! That is really good, made me think of my ex who used to be a cop, now he is just a regular ass hole.

Kayla said...

If only I had the guts to really say this to a cop!!
:-)

Catch said...

Shelli ~ cute , huh?

Ol Lady ~ I try to come up with a good one every once in a while.

EZ ~ TY Sweety

Jill ~ haha..too funny!

Kayla~ I say it to a cop all the time...my brother was a state police....I always tell him these jokes...lol

jan said...

I love it. Some things are flat out worth the money to say,

Catch said...

HI Jan~ Thanks for visiting....yes, if you would say this to a cop it would be priceless...lol

Michelle said...

Ouch! LOL I'm surprised the ticket was "only" 95.00 :)

Dr.John said...

Funny story but the wrong person for her to tell it to.

Remiman said...

Catch,
I met that cop once. She said where ya headed in such a hurray? I said, a race. She frowned, The truth was I was on my way to a 5k race. Ticket $135.00.
Asshole?
rel

Cindy said...

well, he did set himself up by asking the question, so he sort of deserved her answer...

The Old Fart said...

Hi Catch

First time leaving a comment. Cindy asked me to stop by and have a laugh which I needed and did have. Thanks for the funny story.

I've seen you comment at Dr John's all the time. I liked my visit and will be back for another visit.

have a wonderful day

Bice said...

That's a classic! Too funny.

Catch said...

Michelle ~ it would be worth 95 dollars to say it to some cops! lol

Dr John ~ oh yes!

Rel ~ LoL...some cops just have no sense of humor...lol..asshole for sure.

Cindy ~ yep, I agree!

the old fart ~ thank you for visiting and commenting.....please do come back!

Bice ~ I think Ill try it the next time I get picked up! lol

Blogarita said...

LOL!

Carmen said...

Fantastic!