Wednesday Whopper

Have any of you ever noticed on all the romance books how they have a man of adventure capturing a woman and riding off with her on a horse? Or maybe he has a patch on one eye and he is a pirate? Did you ever wonder what it would be like to be captured by some of these guys?

I imagine being captured by an Indian Chief ( he would have to be the chief). I would be somewhere picking flowers and he would come thundering passed on his horse. And then he would see me, the woman of his dreams! He would dismount, come over to me and grab my wrist. He would have one of those loinclothes on and he would be so powerfully built, he would have those markings on his face that I find so mysterious. He would pull me towards him, but of course me being me, I would protest ( a little), then he would just pick me up and put me on his horse. I would threaten him with the local sheriff and the FBI and my 2 brothers. he doesnt listen. We ride off.

He takes me to his camp. Everyone remarks about the "paleface", even though I tell them I have been swimming all summer and I am actually quite tan. he pulls me from the horse and takes me to his tent. A wonderful tent with a hot tub inside and all the conveniences of home. Then he leaves.....and posts 2 young bucks outside of the tent so I cant leave. As I oogle the young bucks, I find I have nothing to do but contemplate my fate. But alas, I find a couple People magazines, so I busy myself catching up on the latest Hollywood news.

Evening comes....a maiden brings me in something to eat, something in a wooden bowl. I dont know what it is, but by then I am famished. Lo and behold its barbequed ribs!!! I eat them all because they are sooo delicious.

Night time approaches rapidly. I hear a horse thundering into the camp. He comes into the tent, he is bigger than life. I casually look up from my magazine as if to say " what took you so long?". Hes not sure of me, we dont speak the same language. He tells me " I am his squaw"..I tell him he is "my fantasy".....he says " I keep you captive"...I say.."maybe for a couple weeks". He touches my face...he is fascinated with my pale skin. I am fascinated with his beautiful face. he wants to kiss me, but I protest ( a little)...( very little)...he kisses me.....I am lost in his kisses. Desire is building..... I am thinking to myself " I wonder what it will be like to be a squaw?" We spend the whole night making wild passionate love, in the morning we wake up wrapped in each others arm.....we hear a ruckus outside the tent. As we look out I see the local Sheriff, the FBI and my 2 brothers. They have come to ruin my fantasy. I must leave. As I gaze at him with wanting in my eyes I tell him " I will never forget you." He slips a ring on my finger, a ring I still wear to this day.I have never seen him since that day. But I look for him everywhere....I hear his horse thundering past my bedroom window at night, but I am never quick enough to get to it. (It could be the local Power Plant , I am just not sure) All I know is when I read my People magazines...I am back in his tent, waiting for him And looking so forward to some more of those barbque ribs!